Q: How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
A: No one knows. It has never been tried!
Q: Why do we need France in a war against Iraq?
A: Someone needs to show them how to surrender!
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me"
--- General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion"
--- General Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it"
--- Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
--- Jacques Chirac, President of France
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses, and he wears a beret. He is French!"
--- Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"
--- Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
--- David Letterman
